


Two Tense Threads

by ChiiBee



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Other, Post-Heavensward MSQ spoilers, Reconciliation, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 18:29:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18104021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiiBee/pseuds/ChiiBee
Summary: Self-indulgent angst in a soulmate au, two lovers kept seperate by their own pride and issues stemming from recent tragedy.(Spoilers up to the end of the Initial Heavensward MSQ!)





	Two Tense Threads

**Author's Note:**

> hellooooo and welcome to my wholly self-indulgent angst in a soulmate au that i'm honestly proud that i actually finished writing. :') the plot bunny of "how would those two handle the end of the initial heavensward msq at first?" came to me a couple years ago and this is the result! please enjoy, thank u.

_For as much as he tried to hide it in all he did for his country_

_For as much as she willfully threw herself into more training more research more learning more more more_

For as much as the two tried to mask their pain and grief in exhaustion and pursuit towards a better future for every and anyone else, Suzume and Aymeric were nowhere near as inexhaustible as they tried to convince others they were... not that they would truly listen if it was pointed out to them. There was too much turmoil, too much to worry about that at first, neither thought the other's absence was strange.

Aymeric was wholly embroiled in the center of Ishgard's sudden turbulent change brought about by the Warrior of Light. When he wasn't receiving reports of potential Dravanian attacks, he was likely fielding reports of yet another group wishing for his death-- a far too common sentiment than he liked. He scarcely felt like he had time to breathe or have a moment to himself where he was not asleep or dealing with paperwork, although deep down he was quite glad to have the distraction from his grief from all that had transpired in the Vault, and afterwards... afterwards, where his focus and hope were all on his two soulmates, only for one of them...

* * *

Suzume simply felt an unyielding amount of grief and guilt at being the cause for Nidhogg finally fully gaining control of Estinien.

If she hadn't distracted him after ( _How had she distracted him? Just standing there after Thordan had fallen, catching her breath?_ )

Shouldn't she have been the one to grab the Eye ( _Would it have truly changed anything? She would have given it to him regardless_ )

If she had just helped him more ( _How could she have truly helped him let go of the years of fury and grief that Aymeric could not in the decade before she was with the two of them?_ )

If only if only if only _if only—_

The guilt and what ifs threatened to drown her that Suzume couldn't stand still. She had to become stronger, if not as a Bard, then in other vocations- anything to feel like she was _worthy_ of that lofty title that Suzume had never asked for. Skysinger, Temptress of Fate, Bringer of Light, Eikon Slayer, Slayer of Nidhogg ( _Funny, he seems quite alive and well in_ ) **Defender of Eorzea,** **_Warrior of Light_ ** **—**

"Suzu, don't you think of you've done more than enough work for today? The Tourney is tomorrow after all." Stephanivien spoke up, gently. "Most, if not all, of the other Machinists have retired for the day, after all. Joye and Rostnsthal included. It wouldn't do for you to be too worn out to take the field tomorrow."

Suzume blinked, looking up from her work at that. He was only looking out for her just as he did for Joye, and he spoke true. The Tourney was tomorrow, and meant so much to the Manufactory... She simply shook her head as she responded. "Of course... I'd hate to miss out on all the fun and prove our worth. I just felt like I should do some final preparations--"

"That can wait until the morning, after you have gotten a good night's sleep," Stephanivien interrupted, firmly wanting no argument.

"...yes, sir, I won't argue the point further." Suzume knew how to take a hint, knowing that she would have no peace from the Elezen otherwise.

"Good. Then I'll see you tomorrow morning, before the Tourney in the afternoon."

Suzume simply nodded as she reassembled her gun, pausing briefly when she glimpsed a familiar thread upon her pinky.

 

How long had it been since she and Sen arrived in Ishgard upon Midgardsormr?

_Over a month now..._

 

—Then how long had it been since she had last seen Aymeric privately?

_...not since the night before Estinien and I had left for Azys Lla._

 

_'It has been far, far too long since we last spoke to one another in private._ ' Suzume thought, a different sort of guilt weighing on her heart as she exited the Skysteel Manufactory. ' _I'm certain Aymeric must feel as awful about what happened as I do... if not worse. I wouldn't be surprised if he blamed me for all that happened._ '

Suzume had made up her mind. She needed to see Aymeric again, to apologize for so so many things, to hear his voice, to comfort him, and ensure he wasn't being as stubborn as she was about his work. Twelve knows he was often as bad as she was, if not _worse_.

* * *

To put things mildly, Aymeric was tired. There had rarely been time for much rest recently, if any at all. It always felt as if every time he tried to close his eyes to sleep even for a moment, something important which required his immediate action would happen.

Even though this was the first night in seemingly weeks with no disturbances or extreme crises, one would think to take it as a blessing no matter how brief; a well earned moment of solitude to rest, and regroup for the next day...

Or, instead, a time for a drink, to reminisce, to think back on better days.

Despite already having had more than enough to feel drunk, far more drunk than he thought wise for someone in his position, the room wasn't spinning, nor did it feel like it would engulf him. It was a strange, yet oddly pleasant feeling to Aymeric, as he relaxed on the sofa in his room and allowed his thoughts to wander to when everything had fallen down around them despite the war, to easier times... then to the times that his world had been changed by his soulmates.

_Estinien... Suzume..._

That final night together before the two left for Azys Lla felt as if it was a world away. The tenderness in how his lovers treated him reassured him that nothing would go wrong, that they would return triumphant to help usher in a new Ishgard alongside him.

 

**Only for Suzume to return, alongside her sister, and their fellow Scions, without him.**

**Only for him to learn from Midgardsormr himself of what had happened to Estinien.**

 

And all that had been left for him afterwards was loneliness. Estinien was gone, Suzume was outright avoiding him for no discernable reason—

 

"Aymeric? Are you there?" Suzume asked, hesitant, knocking lightly on the door, "I am certain you must be asleep by now, but I just..."

Aymeric could tell what she had wanted to say:

_I want to hear your voice. I want to see your face, I miss you—_

And who was he to deny her desires when they mirrored his own? The month that had passed without her had felt like an eternity, and now— at long last— she was here.

Instead of answering her in words, Aymeric rushed to open the door and pulled her into his arms.

_She was here, she was_ **_here_ ** _, finally._

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I-" She started, the words catching in her throat as he embraced her.

"There is nothing to apologize for. I am simply overjoyed to finally be able to see you again after so long..." He replied, tilting her face up with a couple fingers, a tired smile on his face. "It's good to see you hale and healthy, Suzume."

Suzume just weakly returned his smile with a sigh, "I wish I could say the same for you, love, but you look as if you've been constantly herding Namazu. When was the last time you truly slept?"

Truth be told, he couldn't remember the answer to her question, which Suzume could pick up on when he didn't answer immediately.

The Au Ra sighed again, separating herself from his embrace, "By the Kami, no wonder you seem so exhausted. You've hardly slept in weeks, and here I've come in the middle of the night to talk. Perhaps I should-"

"No!" Aymeric blurted out, cutting her off before she could finish, "Please... don't leave me, Suzume. I need you. I want nothing more than to talk to you, no matter how tired I may be or however late it is. So please, love... won't you stay by my side for the night at the least?"

"...you make it sound as if I mean to leave you for good," Suzume answered, guiltily, as she moved to step into his personal chambers. "I've been a terrible lover recently, haven't I? Of course being so distant and avoidant these past few weeks would only make things worse. How could it not?"

"You sound as if you're speaking from past experience."

"Perhaps... but that's not something I wish to speak lightly of at the moment. Come, we can talk in the comfort of your bed until we both fall asleep, if you'd like." Suzume suggested.

"Did I not say I wanted to talk with you rather than sleep, love? I would think the couch would suit our conversation better." Aymeric responded, further making his point by taking a seat on the couch in front of the fireplace, Suzume joining him shortly after.

 

"I’ve missed you so much. I'm so sorry I've been avoiding you," she sighed, leaning into his side.

"I know. I meant it when I said I was happy to see you before. I was beginning to fear I had lost you forever to be honest," Aymeric confessed, as he pressed a kiss to her temple, "That I had inadvertently done something to offend or drive you away after- after you had returned without him."

Suzume frowned, looking up at him, "No, it was nothing of that sort. I... it was... I felt like- I felt as if I had betrayed you, because of what happened to him. I- I had so confidently made that promise that we would return together, and yet-"

"That is **not** your fault, Suzume." Aymeric insisted, "How could I **ever** blame you for something you could not have done? If anything, I share in the blame just as much for being unable to see there was something wrong with him before you two had left."

“...so you’re not mad at me?” She asked with a look of guilt.

“Oh, no, I am still quite upset with you, however my relief that you are safe and healthy is simply greater than my ire towards you for the time being. But, Suzume, please,” He pleaded, “You needn’t always run. You can come talk to me whenever and I will be more than happy enough to face these things head-on by your side, but in order to do that, I need you to let me in. I still love you, and losing Estinien has not changed that in the slightest. If we work together, the two of us may yet find a way to take care of ourselves.”

 

The two sat quietly together. Aymeric ran his fingers through Suzume's hair as the two mulled over the prior conversation.

"You know, he would be absolutely cross with us both for blaming ourselves for his problems. He hates being pitied more than anything, doesn't he?" Suzume asked, when she finally decided to break the silence.

"Mm, he truly does. He was always determined to be known for his actions rather than what happened to him. And he would be quite disappointed in the two of us for not taking care of ourselves, let alone each other," Aymeric nodded.

She laughed, her voice catching as she replied, "Yeah... yeah, he definitely would. I can just imagine what he'd shout at us. Something- something like 'What do you two idiots think you're doing? Who the hell's going to keep the peace if you two can't keep yourselves together without me?' you know? Furious and disappointed, but then making us go sleep or hauling us from wherever we've holed ourselves up and make sure we'd get something to eat."

They laughed together for a moment

Then Suzume began to cry

Aymeric moved to pull her into his arms to comfort her.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I- I just…" She choked out. She hadn't come here to cry on him and yet she couldn't help it.

“It hurts, doesn’t it? It hurts so badly you can hardly breathe, yet you couldn’t allow yourself to stop and cry about it anywhere, could you?” He murmured, “We are quite helpless in this aren’t we?”

Suzume’s grip on his tunic tightened,  “Aymeric, I-”

“No, Suzume. Please, just listen to me."

"I know how you feel, the same as you do. That same helpless feeling of wanting to be able to do more for him, yet knowing it is far too late,” He touched his forehead to her’s, gently holding her arms, “But regardless of that, this is not just your burden to bear, especially not alone. I am still here, and I will be here for you whenever you may have need of me. All I need you to do for me is to just allow me to take some of the burden so that you can keep breathing, and to speak up whenever you feel the need."

"...why?" Suzume asked, uncertain.

Aymeric chuckled, "Because I love you and Estinien both far too much to allow you to run yourself ragged out of guilt. And also because for once, I can actually help lessen your burdens somewhat rather than add to them." He cupped her cheek in his hand to brush away some of her tears.

Sometimes he forgot how small she actually was in spite of her larger than life accomplishments…

Suzume huffed, leaning her face into his hand, "I swear I don't deserve you, Aymeric... but I suppose the Kami think otherwise." She looked up to make eye contact with him, "I have been carrying far too much guilt for things out of my control for far too long, so I cannot guarantee I will always think to speak to you when I should... but I can promise that I will at least **_try_ ** to talk with you before it becomes too much for me to handle."

"Good enough. I will be sure to hold you to that, Sparrow." Aymeric stood up, offering a hand to her, "Now then, shall we get some sleep? I daresay if we don't soon, neither of us will want to leave in the morning."

"That would be for the best, considering you look as if you haven't slept in at least a week at best," Suzume grimaced, "And I wouldn't be able to face Stephanivien nor anyone else at the Manufactory if I were sleep deprived on the day of the Tourney."

* * *

Suzume strode into Aymeric's office late next evening, mood riding high from the Manufactory's victory in the Tourney. It hadn't been easy, and even as it began, she wasn't certain it would go in their favor... yet somehow, some way, she managed to pull through. And now, all she wanted to do was to celebrate with Aymeric, if possible. Which, to her amusement, didn't seem doable quite yet.

"Hard at work still?" She asked, walking up to his desk.

" _Some_ of us have to watch over Ishgard in the day to day still," Aymeric replied, chuckling lightly as he looks up towards Suzume, "How was your Tourney?"

"Quite fun, actually, despite the sabotage against the Manufactory. We were all rather exhausted afterwards, so we postponed our victory celebration until tomorrow," she answered, moving to take a look at the paperwork on Aymeric's desk, "Is there anything I can help you with for now?"

"Hmmm. Well, it depends, my dear, how well are you able to read Eorzean script now?" Suzume scrunched her nose up, much to his amusement, "Your company alone is enough to make this paperwork much less insurmountable, love."

"If you say so," Suzume replied, as she moved to sit closer to him and pick up some of the papers on his desk, "Let me try still, that way we can get to your quarters sooner rather than later."

"Ah, did you perhaps wish to celebrate your win in bed?" Aymeric smirked.

"...I will admit that I was not intending that when I came here to see you. Buuut if you're as willing as I think you are, I certainly wouldn't say no to your face between my legs, handsome." Suzume rolled her eyes, but still gave him a grin, "Just not right here and now. I would _much_ rather not face Lucia's wrath for distracting you from your paperwork with sex in your office _again_."

"How on Hydaelyn would she know?"  
"Because she can just tell at a glance or something? She isn't your Second in Command for nothing, Aymeric!"


End file.
